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[personal profile] brytta
I got accosted again, by the worst welcoming committee ever.

Eonwe: *peeks at Brytta*
Brytta: *eyes Eonwe who has so far not introduced himself FOR SHAME*
Eonwe: hello!
Brytta: It's you again.
Eonwe: It is I!
Brytta: You're a terrible welcoming committee.

Eonwe: I am a reporter, not a committee!
Brytta: You're not a very informative reporter. Telling someone where they are after being badgered and then disappearing.
Eonwe: I was reporting on you *sadness*
Brytta: Let me see this report!
Eonwe: *hands over the newspaper*
Brytta: This is hardly a report. :(
Eonwe: It did not work out. I forgot to interview you
Brytta: That's... you're a terrible reporter AND a terrible welcoming committee.
Brytta: What else do you do?
Eonwe: I'm a herald of the gods. My parents are the king and the queen of the valar.
Brytta: ....Bema.
Brytta: Are you a good herald?
Eonwe: Eonwe is an *excellent* herald
Brytta: That's good. At the risk of sounding blasphemous, it's a good thing that you're not the welcoming committee of the valar.
Eonwe: *evil eye*
Brytta: Do you have something in your eye?
Eonwe: You are a rude mortal
Brytta: You are a rude herald.
Eonwe: *thwap*
Brytta: You hit me!
Eonwe: Yes, yes Eonwe did
Brytta: Worst welcoming committee ever. In Rohan, we're very good at welcoming people.
Eonwe: Eonwe would not know. Rohan does not exist
Brytta: It does where I come from.
Eonwe: Not anymore!
Brytta: I think you'll find it does. I come from Rohan. Rohan is where I have just come from. Therefore, it exists in my past. :D
Eonwe: I do not like your logic
Brytta: You would after a few rounds of mead. And a traditional Rohirric welcome.
Eonwe: Imbibing? *alarmed look*
Brytta: It's very good mead. And served by very attractive young ladies.
Eonwe: goodness
Brytta: Exactly that. :)
Eonwe: you are not very much like elves, are you
Brytta: We have nice hair?
Eonwe: Eonwe supposes
Brytta: We have better thighs. The horse-riding helps with that.
Eonwe: *bends down to examine, grabbing with his hands*
Brytta: ... you're supposed to at least get me a drink first.
Eonwe: You DO have nice thighs
Brytta: Better than elven thighs?
Eonwe: More muscled, at any rate
Brytta: We have better horses too.
Eonwe: Eonwe cannot test that one
Brytta: You might be able to one day, someone far more helpful than you kindly informed me that this is the past.
Eonwe: it is not Eonwe's job to help you
Brytta: You should make it your job.
Eonwe: Why?
Brytta: It might make your reporting better.
Eonwe: *curious look*
Brytta: Or at least, people wouldn't accuse you of being a terrible welcoming committee.,
Eonwe: You are the first Eonwe greeted
Brytta: Perhaps I could give you lessons on the traditional welcoming practices of Rohan?
Eonwe: Alright.
Brytta: First, you should say "Hello" or "Welcome to Gondolin"
Eonwe: Alright... Eonwe is listening
Brytta: Then, you take them somewhere to drink mead. And maybe eat something.
Brytta: And then you retire to a comfortable room for the more private welcoming practices. ;)
Eonwe: *curious look*
Brytta: Of course, drunk people are more likely to tell you all sorts of interesting things.
Eonwe: Should I have gotten you drunk?
Brytta: Maybe. It would have been more hospitable.
Eonwe: huh
Brytta: You would have had to drink too.
Eonwe: Eonwe does not drink
Brytta: Eonwe will have to learn.
Eonwe: It is not my nature!
Brytta: Make it your nature!
Eonwe: The valar do not get drunk!
Brytta:... I am so sorry for your loss.
Eonwe: bah
Brytta: Really. I am. You're missing out.
Eonwe: I know the joy of being part of Eru's song
Brytta: And Eru's song did not include drinking?
Eonwe: No.
Brytta: Then why does drinking exist?
Eonwe: because it sucks to be a mortal
Brytta: Perhaps they only tell you that to soften the blow of not drinking.
Eonwe: do you have strange itching feelings in your nethers? Eonwe has been told that happens to mortals a lot
Brytta: Not me. Only the stirrings of passion. ;)
Eonwe: >.>
Brytta: :)
Eonwe: Eonwe thinks he should be elsewhere now


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